FEMALES: UNDERSTANDING BEINGS

Hey guys!!!

This post is an oldie written by myself and the amazing @sugarush of http://www.irishsugar.wordpress.com

It was one of those lazy days you never really set to do much but just lay in and talk.

It was while talking we realized that we ALWAYS Understand.

You might not understand what we are saying but soon, you would join the wagon of TEAM UNDERSTANDING.


Why do we understand? What do we understand? You might ask, why did God make us understanding beings?

We understand a lot, we understand things that are BEYOND human understanding.

As a female, its your core duty to UNDERSTAND. You understand so much that even before he comes up with his stupid excuses, you have already helped him to understand.

You understand the words he cannot say. You understand the unexplained. You are the epitome of understanding. It would almost be possible to swap your name with understanding in a sentence and it would still make perfect sense.

Your boyfriend, on valentine’s day, tells you that he is traveling to Lagos, which is about 1500km away from your school. But through some miracle, you see him at your school’s car wash, with another chic in the car, sitting on your own front seat.

But you UNDERSTAND that there was probably too much dust on Lagos – Ibadan express way that he had to turn back from the highway, pass through every other car wash, all the way to the car wash in your school, because of course, their own washing skills is quality. Quality over anything right?

And the chic was definitely not human, it was just a mannequin.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Your “boyfriend”, wait, he actually is not yours. You know this. You know that he has a real girlfriend of 3 years. But you understand that he has to cheat on her with you because he “loves” you and its complicated.

Although, he only seems to call you when he is horny and wants some, you UNDERSTAND that he “loves” you, and cannot untangle the complication, because his hands are tied.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Its your birthday, and he uses another girl’s picture as his dp with the pm, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE”.

You understand that the pm is definitely for you, but the network did not allow the dp change, in fact you go even further to understand that she might be far away and he cant see her, or call her, or even ping her privately to tell her happy birthday, that the pm and dp was the fastest means to communicate it to her.

As for your own birthday wishes, you UNDERSTAND that he has said it in his heart and that’s all that matters. Its the thought that counts right??

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

So, you open your Instagram page, lovingly scrolling through your boyfriend’s time line and something catches your eye. Behold, a picture of your boyfriend with another girl, with the caption “HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, LOVE#LoveisSweet #TrueLove #MyOneandOnly #AmazingOneYear #TogetherForever

You UNDERSTAND that your boyfriend made the following mistakes:

1. He forgot that your anniversary is in 6 months when you would be 2YEARS not one.
2. The girl in the picture is definitely you, but the photoshop and filters he used changed your face.
3. That the hashtags mean nothing. Its just for instagram
4. That the whole post is a prank. We are probably in April. Oh no, wait….we are in January

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Your boyfriend claims to have sprained his ankle, and has severe pelvic pain. In fact, he insists that he’s bedridden , he cant even move an inch. Suddenly, you are passing in front of his place and then you witness one of the many miracles of God, a miracle that should be included in the bible for all to see.

You find your boyfriend miraculously on his feet. Not staggering, nor limping, nor holding anything for support, upright! Standing, talking to another girl. You see this, understanding that this must be an apparition.

You walk away, go to the ATM queue for about an hour, withdraw, go and buy food. Then you decide to pass his place again, in other to convince yourself that it was only an apparition.

But to your surprise, he is not only able to stand, he walks hand in hand with his fair maiden to a place where they eventually sit.

Can somebody shout HALLELUYAH?!!! You being a good christian sister, ask him how the miracle happened. He explains and you UNDERSTAND that:

a. The Lord works in MYSTERIOUS ways
b. The girl is definitely the messenger of good health
c. She came to collect a book which took one hour and more because he was giving her the book page by page.
d. Well, you were right, it was an apparition.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

 
You know as God is called EL- Shaddai, El-lohim etc. Females should be called EL – UNDERSTANDING.

This might be funny to you all, but these things actually happen. If you are a female reading this, I’m certain that you UNDERSTAND.

But if you haven’t gotten to the point where you understand, WAIT! You will soon find the boy that would make you UNDERSTAND.

We have accepted our fate as UNDERSTANDING. If you are for #TEAMUNDERSTANDING raise your pom-poms in the air and waive em like you just don’t care.

TEAM UNDERSTANDING, lemme see y’all drop your comments. 🙂

Love,

TFW

Dominant

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