Love is Not Enough- Lessons From Tyler Perry’s Acrimony

Hey guys,

I am a huge Tyler Perry fan and when Acrimony started showing in the cinemas, I was one of the early birds who trooped in cinemas to watch the movie.

I have seen that movie three times and every time I get to the end, I still feel pretty messed up.

A lot of people on Twitter and other social media platforms have found it convenient to throw blame around but I don’t think it was Tyler Perry’s intention to throw shade on any gender.

I think he just wanted us to see how messed up life could get sometimes and how strong relationships or friendships wither away without it being the sole intention of either of the parties.

However, I learnt major lessons I’d love to share.

Love is Not Enough– Often times, we get carried away with our own idealistic views or how love ought to look like or be that we don’t realize that love is hard work. Loving your partner will never be enough to sustain a relationship.

I’m not saying love isn’t important but love isn’t everything. In the movie, Melinda loved Robert and Robert in his own way loved his wife but things fell apart because one or both of them didn’t have the other key factors; respect, compromise, patience and forgiveness.

Understand your Partner’s love language– We express and feel love differently so it’s important to find out what love language works for your partner. Reading more on love languages might help you understand them better.

Robert felt Melinda would love him more if he could buy her everything he had promised but she just wanted him to man up and contribute his quota to the running of their home. His inability to do this eventually led to resentment.

Do not let your life revolve solely around your partner– being involved in your partner’s life is good but it’s very important to have activities outside of him/her.

This way you can function as a human being first then a partner. Melinda was so immersed in providing for the home, paying the bills and tending to Robert that she forgot how to exist on her own without him. This in the end, drove her nuts.

Forgiveness means letting go– I can’t remember the number of times I’ve heard people say “I only forgive, I don’t forget”. That doesn’t really capture the essence of forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go and forgetting the act completely.

This was a major problem for Melinda. She claimed she had forgiven Robert for cheating on her but she had never let it go. This in turn led to paranoia that drove her to the brinks of insanity.

People Do learn from their mistakes– The fact that someone wronged you the first time doesn’t mean the person will do the same thing in a similar situation.

Robert cheated the first time and promised never to do it again but because Melinda was still holding on to his first offense, she couldn’t see past her doubts and capitalized on the fact that he had done it before.

Bitterness is deadly– letting go of the pain others caused you is really for your benefit. Holding a grudge only makes you bitter and will have disastrous effects. So let go and move on for yourself.

Keep your love life private– Not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of your relationship. Keep third parties and their opinions out of your affairs. Melinda was able to track Robert because she found all the information she needed on social media and she also let the opinion of her family affect the way she felt about Robert. It’s YOUR love life, keep it that way.

Know when to move on– I know this is easier said than done but I think at some point, we all know when there’s no future with an ex or even a present relationship. Hanging on by a thread only does more damage than good.

I know you all are waiting for me to blame one person but I honestly have no one to blame.

Both parties were at fault in their own little way and contributed to the collapse of their relationship.

In the end, there are no clear cut laid down rules for Love, life and relationships.

We can only do the best we can and hope we find someone who’s willing to spend forever with us.

I would see this movie over and over again and I think it’s a must see for dating and married couples.

Have you seen Acrimomy?

What did you think about it?

Love,

TFW.

Facing My Fears; A Shalom Black Inspired Tale

Hey guys!!!!

I told you I was serious on being back right??

So I was casually scrolling through YouTube last night and got a video notification from Shalom Blac (A popular YouTube blogger and a burn survivor)

You guys should google her. I think she’s pretty amazing!!

As a fan, I proceeded to watch her video and that’s what inspired this post.

Her series is Titled Facing My fears.

She basically did what she had always been afraid to do and after watching that video, I actually shed a few tears.

Maybe it’s because I could totally relate to how she felt probably not in the exact proportion but I understood what it felt like to be judged based on how you look.

For those who do not know, I have tribal marks (two incisions across my face).

For as long as I can remember, they’ve always been on my face. It had been given to me when I was a kid on holiday with my grandparents.

My Dad came back to meet a child different from the one he had dropped before Christmas.

Growing up, It had never dawned on that I was different.

I knew others didn’t have these “marks” but I had never for one day felt “ashamed” because of the way I looked.

However, that was about to change upon my entry into secondary school.

I attended two secondary schools and I spent just 1 year in the first and the remaining five in the second.

I came in as a transfer student in JSS2 and my first week in school, I was sent to another class to pick up something from a teacher.

I walked into the class room and everyone burst into laughter and I could hear someone in the background say “she must’ve fought with a Lion”

All I recall from that day was running out of the classroom to my class and just topping my head over the table crying profusely.

I was only about 13 at the time and it was the first time I ever felt different or ashamed of how I look.

From that day unknowingly, the seed had been planted.

My High school days passed in a hurry and on getting into university, I would always use makeup (it wasn’t even peng then though lol)

For some reason, I felt I had to conceal my “scars”, reduce how prominent they were so I would be accepted, so I wouldn’t be teased, so boys will like me.

I wanted to fit in so badly. And this continued for a long time and society didn’t help.

Often times, I would go out and it was almost as if the fact I could speak proper English made people uncomfortable.

I would get funny looks and some people would even ask me why I was “forming” like I was expected to be chanting Yoruba incantations everywhere I went.

My insecurities grew and one day, just like magic, I had a long talk with myself.

If I didn’t find myself beautiful, nobody would.

If I wasn’t proud of the way I looked and who I was, nobody else would.

So some days, I would look closely at myself and tell myself I was beautiful.

I would “hype” myself in front of my friends and a mirror and we would laugh and they’d call me conceited!!

I did it so long that I began to believe it!!! I felt beautiful, I was happy and I didn’t care what anyone else thought!

Gradually, I got so comfortable without wearing makeup.

Even till now, as a reminder, I take time out for long periods to go out without makeup to remind myself just how beautiful I am.

I am not my Silky and soft weaves.

I am not my Revlon foundation

I am not the clothes or shoes that I wear

I am the words that I speak

I am the decisions that I make

I am the life I choose to lead

I am the love that I choose to give

I am who I say I am

Sometimes, people ask me if it bothers me & honestly, it used to but not any more.

For those who are “different” or struggling with insecurities you need no validation from anyone but yourself

So just Incase the universe forgot,

You are beautiful

You are spectacular

You are a work of art

Say it to yourself till you finally believe it.

Love,

TFW

14 Days Love Challenge

Hey guys!!!

It’s been a bit.

I’ve missed this space and you guys, my absolutely amazing readers.

Reading your comment gives me much more joy than you know.

For the month of February, I have taken up a 14 Day love challenge with some other amazing writers.

They are;

HabibatModupe and Janatu

It’s going to be a blast guys.

Hope you stick around to enjoy it.

Love,

TFW.

Creature

The 805 Experience

Hey guys!!!!

It’s time for some foodie action!!

Earlier this week, a dear colleague/friend of mine had her birthday and my boss was so gracious enough to take us out for dinner.

It took quite some time to decide on what where we wanted to go till we finally settled for 805 restaurant.

We wanted to have good African Cuisine in a nice, cozy environment.

The first thing I noticed on entering was how neat it was.

The art was minimal but I particular loved this picture by the entrance of the toilet.

We sat down and decided to place our orders.

The menu has a variety of dishes and drinks.

We began with Chicken Wings and some Punch and our order came with complimentary puff puff.

It was at this exact moment I realized I had fallen in love

For my main dish, I had pounded yam and Afang soup with Chicken. Others had Pounded yam as well with Ofe nsala, Afang or Okro with my boss being the only one who had starch.

Our meals were a beautiful display of colors

I know what you might be thinking, the swallow looks small but the remarkable thing was that as I began to eat, the meal refused to finish.

The only low of the evening was that the toilets were slightly messy but asides from that, it was a great evening.

Their service was great and the waiters always made sure we were always comfortable and didn’t need anything.

At the end of the meal, I particularly loved the pink water in the washing hand bowl

In totality, it was a great evening with lots of food, laughs and merriment

I would definitely visit again.

Love,

TFW

FEMALES: UNDERSTANDING BEINGS

Hey guys!!!

This post is an oldie written by myself and the amazing @sugarush of http://www.irishsugar.wordpress.com

It was one of those lazy days you never really set to do much but just lay in and talk.

It was while talking we realized that we ALWAYS Understand.

You might not understand what we are saying but soon, you would join the wagon of TEAM UNDERSTANDING.


Why do we understand? What do we understand? You might ask, why did God make us understanding beings?

We understand a lot, we understand things that are BEYOND human understanding.

As a female, its your core duty to UNDERSTAND. You understand so much that even before he comes up with his stupid excuses, you have already helped him to understand.

You understand the words he cannot say. You understand the unexplained. You are the epitome of understanding. It would almost be possible to swap your name with understanding in a sentence and it would still make perfect sense.

Your boyfriend, on valentine’s day, tells you that he is traveling to Lagos, which is about 1500km away from your school. But through some miracle, you see him at your school’s car wash, with another chic in the car, sitting on your own front seat.

But you UNDERSTAND that there was probably too much dust on Lagos – Ibadan express way that he had to turn back from the highway, pass through every other car wash, all the way to the car wash in your school, because of course, their own washing skills is quality. Quality over anything right?

And the chic was definitely not human, it was just a mannequin.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Your “boyfriend”, wait, he actually is not yours. You know this. You know that he has a real girlfriend of 3 years. But you understand that he has to cheat on her with you because he “loves” you and its complicated.

Although, he only seems to call you when he is horny and wants some, you UNDERSTAND that he “loves” you, and cannot untangle the complication, because his hands are tied.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Its your birthday, and he uses another girl’s picture as his dp with the pm, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE”.

You understand that the pm is definitely for you, but the network did not allow the dp change, in fact you go even further to understand that she might be far away and he cant see her, or call her, or even ping her privately to tell her happy birthday, that the pm and dp was the fastest means to communicate it to her.

As for your own birthday wishes, you UNDERSTAND that he has said it in his heart and that’s all that matters. Its the thought that counts right??

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

So, you open your Instagram page, lovingly scrolling through your boyfriend’s time line and something catches your eye. Behold, a picture of your boyfriend with another girl, with the caption “HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, LOVE#LoveisSweet #TrueLove #MyOneandOnly #AmazingOneYear #TogetherForever

You UNDERSTAND that your boyfriend made the following mistakes:

1. He forgot that your anniversary is in 6 months when you would be 2YEARS not one.
2. The girl in the picture is definitely you, but the photoshop and filters he used changed your face.
3. That the hashtags mean nothing. Its just for instagram
4. That the whole post is a prank. We are probably in April. Oh no, wait….we are in January

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

Your boyfriend claims to have sprained his ankle, and has severe pelvic pain. In fact, he insists that he’s bedridden , he cant even move an inch. Suddenly, you are passing in front of his place and then you witness one of the many miracles of God, a miracle that should be included in the bible for all to see.

You find your boyfriend miraculously on his feet. Not staggering, nor limping, nor holding anything for support, upright! Standing, talking to another girl. You see this, understanding that this must be an apparition.

You walk away, go to the ATM queue for about an hour, withdraw, go and buy food. Then you decide to pass his place again, in other to convince yourself that it was only an apparition.

But to your surprise, he is not only able to stand, he walks hand in hand with his fair maiden to a place where they eventually sit.

Can somebody shout HALLELUYAH?!!! You being a good christian sister, ask him how the miracle happened. He explains and you UNDERSTAND that:

a. The Lord works in MYSTERIOUS ways
b. The girl is definitely the messenger of good health
c. She came to collect a book which took one hour and more because he was giving her the book page by page.
d. Well, you were right, it was an apparition.

You as a female UNDERSTAND this.

 
You know as God is called EL- Shaddai, El-lohim etc. Females should be called EL – UNDERSTANDING.

This might be funny to you all, but these things actually happen. If you are a female reading this, I’m certain that you UNDERSTAND.

But if you haven’t gotten to the point where you understand, WAIT! You will soon find the boy that would make you UNDERSTAND.

We have accepted our fate as UNDERSTANDING. If you are for #TEAMUNDERSTANDING raise your pom-poms in the air and waive em like you just don’t care.

TEAM UNDERSTANDING, lemme see y’all drop your comments. 🙂

Love,

TFW

Dominant

Embrace the silence

“Listen to silence, it has so much to say”- Rumi

Hey guys,

So Often times we get carried away by all the noise around us that we forget to take time to just breathe and listen.

I personally have learnt to embrace my silence.

It’s the only time I get to have candid conversations with myself (as crazy as that sounds), map out strategies and see just how much progress I’ve made.

Silence makes you think deeply, understand and evaluate yourself.

I love taking walks most times (though lately I haven’t gotten round to doing much of that), but majority of the time, I just sit alone in a corner blocking out everything around me and meditate.

And in all this time, I’ve come to realize that solitude is simply the path to self discovery. It is the absence of noise and distraction.

It is divine.

Love,

TFW

Silence

Rich Women Won’t Get Husbands

I was scrolling through my timeline on Twitter when I saw this particular tweet.

I would be mincing words if I said I only cringed after I finished reading it.

As hilarious and absolutely ridiculous as this might sound, it is the reality of the world I live in.

It just reminded me of a similar experience I had earlier this year. I went to sort out my clearance issues at the NYSC office and I began speaking with some officials.

They joked around and started teasing me on when I would love to get married.

I told them that wasn’t in my books for this year as I had other plans to focus on.

Then they said like what?

“Go after my dreams,” I replied.

And in the most condescending manner, they told me;

Don’t you know no man would marry a rich woman?”You better marry now so that you won’t be rich and alone”

Then they all burst out laughing.

I spent the next thirty minutes giving them a piece of my mind as I was beyond livid.

As I write this I wonder where we all got it wrong.

Where, when and how did we set these standards for young women?

Why are we taught that marriage is the ultimate goal?

Why does society preach marriage as a form of social validation ostracizing those who are single.

I see young girls my age or those even younger than me with no concrete plan or goals for their lives.

All they want to do is finish school and get a rich husband and settle down.

When did a man become a source of income or a job?

Why am I continuously reminded on how important it is to be a good wife, submissive, loving & and an even better mother?

But my male counterpart is given no lecture on how to be a good husband because anything goes I guess.

I personally would love to be married but I don’t see that as my ultimate goal.

I believe we are all on earth to fulfill our God given purpose and impact our world most especially those around us.

I wouldn’t even want to be with anyone who feels threatened by my Success or is insecure that I have ambition.

I am so much more than the tag or title; MRS!!!!

I have come to love and respect myself and any man who wants to be with me will have to do the same.

As young women, our dreams are valid and we would fervently go in its pursuit.

So Future Hubby, I hope that’s good enough for you.

Love,

TFW

Horizon

If Only

To those who have loved, those who weren’t bold enough to love and those who were loved but lost that love along the way!!

In the end, all that really matters are the people we loved,how they loved us back and the things we did for such love!!

The worst fate is to live a life without love.

So guys love deeply and truly. Without further ado, I present to you;

********************

If only time’s winged Chariot never passed too quickly

If only I could flicker through time and pause or rewind it

If only I had said the things I ought to

If only I could see you hold me in your eyes once again

A century away it seems; that time when you once called me ‘yours’

From random greetings and conversations, our love story blossomed

Just like the Hibiscus flower at summer’s first smile

I was yours and you were mine

But my thoughts were never in line

Scared of my feelings and the hurt it could do,

I tried to keep it at bay

You expressed it; I suppressed it

You protected it; I neglected it

Without the proper attention, it withered away

Love is life; it must be kept alive

Love you; that I did

But a coward I was to own up to it

So I let it slide and acted like it was alright

When my insides cried out with all their might

We’ve seized to be; now I wonder if we’d ever still be

A veil has been lifted and I see clearer than ever

A thunderstorm of emotions drowning me after your exit

We see each other but it’s not as it was

An empty glance and a cold shoulder is all I get from you

It’s almost like we never happened

So I sit here by my window acutely aware that it’s time to let go as I watch you Slipping away from me;

Longing for you, yearning for that which I had so foolishly rejected and repeating to myself; if only…

Love,

TFW

Shock

My So Fresh Experience

This year I decided to shake up my diet by eating a bit more healthy.

This doesn’t mean there still wouldn’t be the occasional cheat days because “I can’t comman kill myself” 😂😂😂😂

In my quest to join the “healthy living gang,” I found my way to So Fresh Nigeria.

My experience there was splendid and I decided to do a review today!

They have four branches in Lagos around the Lekki, Ikoyi and Ikeja Axis.

Their Abuja branch is located at 1, Agadez Crescent Aminu kano way, Wuse 2, Abuja.

The first thing to notice when you step in is how amazingly clean it is.

In dealing with food outlets that serve fresh food, there’s always that fear of whether they’re clean or not. But with So Fresh, you’ve got no worries.

Then I had to decide on what I wanted to have.

Being the sweet tooth that I am, I decided to go for their Parfait. I wanted something sweet but healthy as well.

I ordered for the Mango and Apple Parfait which was a yummy delight.

My order was taken and though made from scratch, it took about 5 minutes.

The staff are very nice and polite, smiling always and constantly checking you’re satisfied with their service.

My order finally arrived and I faced it squarely.

It had coconut, grapes, strawberries, mangoes and apples.

Everything had a perfect blend in taste from start to finish.

They have other things on their menu as well ranging from sandwiches to smoothies, their healthy version of a shawarma called “the Fresh fiesta” amongst others.

The best part of my visit is that this yummy goodness I had only cost me N1,400.

Of course I had to take one for the road.

I’d go back there over and over again!!

Love,

TFW.

Evoke

Seasons

How She had loved it back then, it was everything to her.

She carried it around like a dog tag. There it lay, proof of what they once had been. With him, there were no words accurate enough to convey the depth of her feelings.

She was “herself” and to bask in the warmth of his smile while he “held” her in his eyes was everything & more to her.

Oh how she loved and adored him, if he had been a god, she would’ve forever worshipped him.

Lost in this euphoria, she wasn’t prepared for what came next. The chilly winds that ensued left her at loss for words.

The cold, long sleepless nights, the continuous “scarring”of her make up, he cut her wide open like landscape.

At some point, She was almost certain this bleakness would be the end of her. Food and herself were “at war.” She was gradually “fading away” in all outfits.

She was a mess; inside and out. She needed help to comprehend the whirlwind of emotions that had overtaken her. She kept searching for a “sweet surrender”.

How often she was called silly to have entrusted that “fragile little part” of her to him but I guess the joke’s on her since that “psycho”, Cupid “shot” only one of them.

Without him to hold, She was freezing, gradually loosing it till She became a shadow of herself. So she became the “Ice Queen” tending to her new “absolute zero” nature.

But today, She doesn’t know how it happened but she’s laughing more, she’s living, loving and enjoying every single minute of it.

Funny how she thought she couldn’t do all this without him. She was stronger than the hurt, stronger than the anger & pain. She had almost forgotten what a fighter she was.

Right this minute, she feels a certain warmth rushing through her veins. She is ready to live and love again.

That which was frozen has begun to thaw, Summer is finally here….

Love,

TFW.

Love, Growth, Shade

growth

Today i sat down and decided to narrow down the things i value into three words and what i came up with were; love, growth and shade.

As individuals we all need to love one another. A little act of kindness goes a long way not just to those we know but to those who have nothing to give us in return. We need the kind of love that supports, keeps no account of wrongdoings and will always be there regardless of the circumstances.

Love is the greatest gift anyone can receive. Sometimes, our experiences make us bitter or retract into our shells. However, the most valuable lesson i have learnt is not to be defined by our past.

We are not the mistakes we made in our youth. We are not defined by what any of our parents did. We are not defined by their mistakes or bad habits. We define our own paths and decide where it takes us. All we need is a little more faith in the process and our journey.

So let go and let love rule.

I love growth in its entirety. The possibility of creating something from nothing and watching it blossom is the most beautiful experience. But growth does not just happen. Just as plants need water and sunlight, the human mind needs to be constantly updated and monitored. This means pushing and fighting hard for your dreams and not just walking on the sidelines. It also means increase in all aspects of one’s life; spiritually, socially, mentally, emotionally etc.

This is why one should be very particular about energies or vibes. It is great to always be in a productive environment. Watch the attitude of those who surround you. They should challenge or motivate you to be a better person.  It is not worth it if all your relationship brings is unnecessary drama or mind games. You need people who are going on the same journey with you or have a vision in par with you.

In other words, align with people of like purpose who understand your need.

You need to watch it!!!!

Just as you tend and nurture yourself, you need to help others grow as well.

Shade is my third and final word. This depicts protection and shelter in a time of discomfort. Times will come in life when trials and tribulations come and those who surround you will be your ”shade.”

These are the friends or family who you can always depend on. The ones who will always be there to support you and get you through that tight spot. It is not just enough to expect shade but to also be a shade to others when they need it.

To me, when all these three are present, Life is nothing but a beautiful journey.

Love,

TFW

Brilliant

Enough

empty-heart

Broken

Tired

Angry

Numb

These are the words that come to mind

How could something so beautiful become this toxic?

Where did we lose our way?

Can we ever go back?

These are the questions that plague my mind

When did i stop making you laugh?

When did i become that thing you’re to ashamed to show off

When exactly did you check out?

Never doubt a woman’s intuition they say

But what to do when yours failed you?

I gave it all to you

Everything single bit of me

You SAW me

but i never did see HER coming

Not until your pictures flooded my timeline

and it wasn’t me that said I DO

Broken

Tired

Angry

Numb

These are the words that come to my mind

Its safe to say our love funneled out

Love,

TFW

Funnel

To Me at Sixteen

sweet sixteen

Ever looked back on your life and wished you had known certain things about life that you know now?

Your teenage years are the best years of your life to explore and to try to figure out your path in life.

If i could speak to myself at sixteen, i would’ve loved to tell myself the following:

1. You are allowed to make a few mistakes. There is still so much time to figure out your life. Live a little and Take risks.

2. You will never have it all figured out. Life really does come in stages and the answers to each question you seek comes as you surpass every stage in your life

3. You have no clue as to what ”true love” really means. You can only love and share your life with another when you have fully come into knowing and owning who you are

4. Be open minded to learn and try out new things. You never know when you will catch the wave to change your life

5. Never say never. You never know what you are capable of until you are faced with a particular situation.

6. You will win some and you will lose so much more. its okay to fail as long as you don’t give up

7. You do not need validation from anyone but yourself. You are and would always be more than enough.

8. Give yourself to only those deserving of you.

9. You control your happiness. Give no one else that power.

Love,

TFW.

Winsome

Teacher’s Pet

Often times during conversations with friends, we talk about the various teachers that taught us growing up.

We tease one another on just how hard we were grilled in order to deliver on certain tasks. As I write this, my mind drifts fondly to those days.

I will be eternally grateful to my Literature and government teachers.

My literature teacher always made sure I was on top of my game. She will never take an essay less than two pages from me on any topic neither will give me a pass for not reading ahead of the class.

She would always call on me to answer questions and “having no idea” was never an option.

Looking back, I think that began the journey to my falling in love with writing and literary appreciation.

I write today and it’s all because of her.

My government teacher on the other hand made me very keen on political topics. I could define the systems of government from my sleep without breaking a sweat. He would always expect a certain score in my tests and exams.

Getting anything below that meant I was going to have a one on one session with him. Because of him, I have diverse interests and hope to change my world from my immediate environment.

It’s funny how you never realize the impact the smallest gestures make until you look back.

In hindsight, I would have it no another way.

I would be a teacher’s pet over and over again.

Love,

TFW

Viable

Clichés to drop in 2017

cliché

ˈkliːʃeɪ/

noun

plural noun: clichés

a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.

I bet that as you read today’s topic a few of them came to your head. We hear them all the time though we’d rather not. I believe the following should stop with 2017.

1. A woman’s place is in the home

The world is constantly evolving and a woman’s destiny is no longer tied to a “kitchen stove.” She is allowed to have dreams, pursue them and make impact in the society. We refuse to be mere figure heads.

2. Love is blind


I might actually punch a wall the next time I hear that. It may be easiest to explain this cliche by saying i sometimes refuse to see the handwriting on the wall. It is not an excuse to be with someone who doesn’t treat you right.

3. Don’t kiss and tell

isn’t this the simplest of all rules. It isn’t exactly rocket science. Keep your personal life private. There can only be one keeping up with the Kardashians. Your business, fix it.

4. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

Errrrr, No thanks. Ever heard of herpes?? There will be no kissing contest with my lips. Better to wait for Prince Charming than give him a disease when he finally comes around.

5. Everything happens for a reason

Yup! This kills me every time. You’re indirectly telling me i should be prepared to go through with the pain. Not a very pleasant thing for someone who’s still hurting.

And that’s about it for today guys.

Love,

TFW

My Crazy Bucket List

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a thrill seeker. I love going on adventures and trying out new things.

Life is only for the living.

As a result, I have this crazy list of things I want to do before I die and I hope someday I get to tick them all of my list.

Here goes;

1. Go skydiving- I can’t wait to experience the thrill most especially the adrenaline that comes with a free fall

2. Go Bunjee jumping

3. Scuba Diving

4. Parasailing

5. Take a ride in a hot air balloon

6. Travel the world( particularly Rome, Greece, Zanzibar, Seychelles, Paris, Cape Verde to mention a few)

7. Kiss my Husband underneath the Eiffel Tower (Yes, my secret’s out. I’m a sucker for romance)

8. Rid myself of my fear of Horses by going horseback riding

9. Write my own book

10. Have a “retirement” baby

11. Touch and change lives

12. As cliché as it sounds, make my parents happy & proud

I guess I’d be sharing others much later.

I truly believe we must take life by its lapels not just living by the sidelines.

So I want you to repeat after me as we take the Bucket list oath;

“I solemnly swear to create memories that last a life time

I vow to make an impression on the world and not on the couch

I promise to dream about unrealistic goals and make them my reality

So help me God”

Now get up and start living.

Love,

TFW

Treat

Much Ado about Resolutions

Hey guys

Welcome to today’s post.

If there’s one thing synonymous to the new year, it has got to be new year resolutions.

We make them all the time. That’s when you begin to hear things like “new year, new me”

🙄🙄🙄🙄

And then by the end of the year, most times we still wouldn’t have achieved or done much.

There’s been a lot of cynicism around new year resolutions with people believing they are just a waste of time.

I used to have the problem of ticking off most of the things I set out to do yearly till I figured out an easier way.

Personally, I think new year resolutions are great. It’s very important to live purposefully i.e have a plan for your life.

Your new year resolutions should always have a timeline. List out your goals or objectives and put an expiration date on them all.

To make it easier, you can divide them into each quarter of the year that way you’re able to monitor and rate yourself.

So that’s my new year resolution tip.

I hope it makes a difference. It’s as easy as ABC, I hope you agree.

Love,

TFW.

Reservation

Happy New Year

Whoop, Whoop it’s 2018 guys!!!!!!

Happy New Year

I wish you all so much love and laughter this year.

This year, i would be taking my writing much more seriously and as a result, i will be taking up the 365 days writing challenge on The Daily Post’s site.

I put it up here so i can remind myself whenever i get tired and want to give up.

Enjoy today’s post

***************************************************

5, 4, 3, 2, 1….

I watched as the the clock counted down into the new year.  I opened my eyes and then it suddenly dawned on me that i had been crying.

The past year had been so overwhelming and i was just grateful to have made it through.

I was exactly where i wanted to be; In Church giving praises.

2017 came with a lot of lessons and i thought to share some with you.

  1. Put your money where your art is. Your passion should be your greatest investment. Believing in yourself means investing in yourself. You do not always have to own the most expensive things. Take a course, read a book. just invest in yourself.
  2. No limitations- Dream big, Dream wide and go get it. No time for excuses.
  3. Not everyone will see your vision but do not be upset. For this reason, you will do so many things alone. They might call you crazy or stupid but irrespective of whoever doubts you, your dreams are valid.
  4. Friends will disappoint you. The people you thought would always be there for you will fail you at some point. Some friends will break promises and even break your heart but do not hold it against them. The human nature is ordinarily selfish therefore, no one is perfect. Some will only remember you when they need a favor from you. Don’t be upset, be glad you’re a solution provider.
  5. You will be misunderstood. Not everyone will understand the way your mind or heart works, not even those you expected should. People will project their insecurities and frustrations on you. Rise above it and continue being who you are.
  6. Live, Laugh, Love. Life is too short to live walking on eggshells. Travel, try new foods, take a dance lesson, laugh often and take lots of pictures.
  7. Family is everything. By family, i do not mean just blood relations but those people who have stuck with you through it all. Appreciate them and always tell them how much you love them. It took losing someone dear this year for me to realize that. Do not wait until its too late. Just do it today.

And on this note, I am ready to take on 2018.

I hope you all are too.

Love,

TFW.

Finally

Tales from Obubra- The morning after

Hey guys,

Welcome to the last post on my Camp series.

It has been an absolute delight sharing this experience with you guys.

Enjoy today’s post.

*******************

Day 10- The morning after Camp

OMG!! Everywhere is quiet, I must’ve been locked in. I am going to be in so much trouble.

I really can’t afford to do anymore squats. These were the thoughts going on in my head as I woke up this morning.

I jumped out of my bed like;

I picked up my phone and looked at the time, it was almost 6am.

It took a couple of minutes and then it dawned on me, I had left Camp and had no obligations whatsoever.

I crawled back into bed and continued sleeping.

My world is finally at peace.

I no longer have to listen to the deafening sound of that trumpet or shower with the black oily water.

There is no need to practice my “Attention” or “At ease” poses.

I can go where I want whenever I want.

I am back to having a comfortable bed and decent sleeping hours.

No lights out at 10pm.

It is great day to be alive.

But then I think about my girls and how much I miss them.

To the girls that made my stay in Obubra worth every second.

Tinu, Anne, Anita, Oge, Dami, Sola, you guys are amazing!! ❤️


I picked up my phone and waited as the call connected to the truly amazing girls I met in some tiny little village in Cross river.

 

Love,

 

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Departure Day

If there had ever been a time I questioned or insulted myself for studying law, I am truly sorry

Its day 9 and I get to leave this camp simply because I am a law student.

So all law students have our final graduation ceremony coming up and we had to sort out our clearance from school so NYSC had no choice but to let us go.

Somebody shout hallelujah!!!

I woke up this morning, packed up my bags and walked towards the gate. I handed in my exit letter and answered all the questions that were thrown at me.

I just couldn’t wait to leave.

After I was through with security, I put my stuff in the cab and then it was time to say goodbye to Obubra.

But suddenly, I felt a wave of emotions. I had this tight knot in my chest. It was pretty hard saying goodbye to the friendships I had made over the past couple of days.

We had hugged each other really tight  and had spoken about how much we were going to miss each other.

You spend a couple of days with people in arduous situations and it never really dawns on you the type of bond you have created till it’s time to go.

I looked at the gate one last time with mixed emotions, got into the car and I smiled as the gate faded away from my rear view.

I could finally say it; GOODBYE OBUBRA

The journey back to Calabar took about 4 hours 30 minutes simply because I believe the driver was trying to prove he was a die hard fast and furious fan!

I got into Calabar at about 5pm and I had the opportunity to see a bit of the town.

I visited the Mall and was quite impressed.

I had a proper dinner for the first time in a long while.

And after that, I did a little sight seeing around the town as well.

I must admit; Calabar is really beautiful.

Love,

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Day 8

Take notice that I have survived using “crude oil” to bathe for over a week now.

What else does life wanna throw at me??

I’m beginning to think Crossriver might be a neighboring town to Hellfire.

It’s been unbelievably hot in the afternoons; like roast your skin type of hot. This must probably be a friendly reminder that I MUST MAKE HEAVEN!!

My camp people didn’t come to play this year. There was an interview for those who want to redeploy on medical reasons. It was conducted today and it was a sight to behold.

Those who had invented “sicknesses” also had to invent “symptoms” and “drugs”

So you’d hear things like;

Doctor: what exactly is wrong with you?

Corp Member: I have hemophilia, asthma, ulcer and anxiety disorder

In my head:

Some people legit “killed” their fathers just to have moving stories. (I kid you not) 😂😂😂😂😂😂

NYSC look what you’ve done!

Love,

TFW.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!

Hope we all had a lovely Christmas celebration.

I had a quiet one and it was just exactly what I needed.

As we eat, drink and party, I hope we all remember the reason for the season and that’s no other than Jesus Christ.

The 3 concluding episodes of my camp orientation series would be up on the blog by the end of the week.

I’m sorry it took so long but I just got caught up with life.

Thank you all for your comments, shares and likes.

Thank you to everyone who kept on asking for the concluding episodes.

You all are amazing and I don’t take any of you for granted.

You make it all worth it.

See you Thursday.

Love,

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Day 7

Happy New Month Everyone.

😊😊😊

Thank you all for sticking around.

Today, I was sanitation duty and I must admit that;

I was really surprised at the kinds of things we had to pick and clean up!!

Some people really deserve judgement here on earth. With the number of slay queens with popping “highlights” and “contours”, I thought they will know how to properly use toilets but I was wrong to assume.

I blame myself though, I should’ve taken my whistle blowing career a bit more seriously.

This is hereby a call for all professional whistle blowers with a minimum of two years experience. You should’ve amassed for yourself the sum of at least 1 Million Naira with proof of such acquisition.

Also come along with a two page essay of why you should be selected, birth certificate, proof of your current place of accommodation (just Incase you decide to run away with my money) and two reference letters from previous employers.

Profit will however be shared 50/50.

These terms are not negotiable

PS: I’m Sorry today’s post is late, Man’s been ill since yesterday.

Love,

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Day 6

Today happened in slow motion for me. I practically did everything two times slower than normal. I’m currently on a strong antibiotic and it just made me really weak so I wasn’t able to do much.

The highlight of my day however was this morning. Apparently, news of people’s beds being soaked in water and documents destroyed got round to the overall camp commandant and the issue was addressed this morning.

The officials who wet our beds were sent out of the camp at first light today.

Brethren, don’t you agree I serve a living God?

After the devotion, we headed to our morning drills.

Henceforth, I would like to be addressed as “Janet Bond.”

I swung from ropes, went under barbed wires, climb, crossed and jumped over various obstacles.

It has become so much clearer that they lie in all those action movies. The only question I have is why did they have to make it look so easy??

Nevertheless, it felt so good and for a moment there I felt like I could conquer the world.

I learnt two great lessons today though.

1. Do that thing that absolutely terrifies you. Never let fear take control over your being or mind.

2. Having a great support team around you is the best gift like would give you.

There are times we get knocked down, we doubt ourselves, we question our choices, decisions and even our success stories. It is at this point we need those who will hold our hands and cheer us back into the game.

Goodnight

Love,

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Day 5

It is official. Today was from the pits of hell fire!!

I woke up this morning with body pains, sore throat, cough and catarrh probably from all the stress of recent days.

I still had to be ready for the parade at 6am.

I spent five hours in a lecture under the sun as there wasn’t enough space. I had to continuously watch as full grown boys and girls were taught how to differentiate between their left and right when marching.

Uncle, Aunty, didn’t you go to school?

They could not get it together and we had to suffer for it redoing it with the sun constantly reminding me why its hot.

Like that was not bad enough, i spent some time doing ‘squats.’ We got out of my room few minutes late because we were trying to get water to bathe and we were rewarded with intensive squat drills.

I thought i was going to faint. I got up walking like this:

I hereby solemnly swear to never disrespect any officer. Their level of tolerance and endurance of pain is remarkable.

To round up an already miserable day, we got back to our rooms this evening and all our beds were soaked in water, as in dripping soaked in water!!!! It was some form of drilling.

I am almost in tears!!!

All i just want to say is NYSC please, I am somebody’s daughter!!

Edakun

Goodnight.

Love,

TFW.

Tales from Obubra-Day 4

There’s a reason for everything under the sun I’ve been told. Today, I finally agree.

Since I got here, I have been wondering why God sent me to this place and I finally realize it. God is preparing me for life outside the country 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Harmattan is here in Obubra and it’s crazy cold. The fog this morning covered everywhere and it was almost impossible to see or do anything.

For a minute, I woke up thinking I was somewhere in the States but by the time I spent 10 minutes awake, I realized I’m still stuck somewhere in Obubra.

Then it dawned on me; this is a sign from God and I’m ready to claim it. So I’m currently checking online for really nice winter jackets I would love to have.

Judge me not; I walk by faith not by sight. Obubra today, New York tomorrow.

I am ready Lord!!!!

Trust me when I say there’s no greater heartache than buying Egg-roll, getting to the middle to find something that’s not egg but a semblance of it.

It was at that moment I realized I’ve been robbed.

There’s no functioning ATM here and some guys have POS machines where your card is charged and they give you cash.

However, these guys take 10% of the total sum you collect. I wonder why they want to compete with God. So For my stay here, I will now pay “tithes” twice a month.

Do not be silent o Lord my God!!!!

My plan to be invisible in my platoon didn’t go as planned. I was called out today by my command and some other team members. That was how I became a member of the Naija dance team.

I was so terrified we would disgrace our unborn children but we did well for a team that had its first rehearsal this evening.

So I’m here popping collar and feeling like a rockstar.

Love,

TFW.

Tales from Obubra-Day 3

All my life, I have known that oil and water do not mix but I learnt otherwise today.

Here, water and oil are like peas in a pod. The water is oily and milky brown in color. God bless the person who invented dettol, it’s been my saving grace.

On a brighter note, I have always wondered how whistle blowers to politicians felt and I guess I will be finding out very soon. I will be joining the Obubra whistle blowing academy for my hostel 😂😂😂

There’s a reward for anyone who whistle blows those that “shot put” (stool inside nylon bags and throw it into the bushes) or pee in the bushes around the hostel. The price money is N1,000.

Small you might say but let’s picture this. Say I catch 5 people a day, that’s 5,000. Five thousand times 7 Days is 35,000.

I just might be making a career shift 😂😂😂😂😂

Word of caution for future corpers- Please RESPECT your generation. Do not come to camp with braids that are long enough to “sweep men off their feet.” There’s nothing as embarrassing as hearing

“Mama why is your hair this long??” And then having to explain to your command with everyone waiting for your explanation.

Me:

If there were a snoring contest in my room, there will be no winner. It’s like having a choir of snorers; different notes, pitches and keys. When one takes it a notch lower, another takes it two notches higher and I’m like;

PS: Sunday is officially my favorite day. No morning drills, I slept for more than 5 hours today and evening drills were for just 30 minutes.

There is a God in Heaven.

Love,

TFW

Tales from Obubra-Day 2

From a distance I could hear the sounds of people walking around and buckets hitting various bunks. It must be morning I thought.

I opened my eyes only to find out that it was 2am and we had to go fetch water to have our bath.

What am I doing here God???

I get to the borehole to fetch the water and prepare to head out at 5. We have the morning devotion and the day starts.

Today I bought an MTN sim for N700 & I almost wept, even salvation came free.

For the past 48 hours, I have been without a functioning sim and so I had to get one to communicate with family.

Me: How much is MTN sim?

Guy: 700

Me:

In desperation, I buy the sim and take it to the guy that cuts it and tries to insert it into my phone but it doesn’t fit as he didn’t cut it properly.

Then one of his “boys” picks up the sim, scratches it vigorously with a scissors and places it back. On asking him he says it was what his boss told him to do.

The sim is put back into my phone and it still doesn’t work. Then the boss looks at the phone and says the sim will not work as it’s been damaged so I had to buy another sim. I couldn’t ask him to give me a new sim as I didn’t buy it from him.

It was at this moment I realized my “village people” were closer than I thought.

I put myself together with a plate of Afang and pounded yam. Suddenly, all was well in the world again.

By evening, I realized “my village folks” moved into this camp with me. I am staying in the new hostel and ceiling fans were installed. The fan worked perfectly this afternoon when I wasn’t around.

But then I come in to sleep and suddenly the fan isn’t working anymore.

Why do bad things happen to good people??

And so I sign out tonight with a new friend, a phone that has network and no working fan.

It can only get better

Join me again tomorrow same time.

Love,

TFW.

Tales from Obubra

Hey guys,

Welcome to today’s post.

I’m going to be sharing my experience during orientation camp with you all as I obey the Clarion call of being a Youth Corper.

I’m titling this series #TalesfromObubra

Enjoy

***************

“State of Deployment- Cross-River”

My eyes must definitely be playing a joke on me. There’s no way in hell I’m going to that place. These were the thoughts going on in my head as I saw my call up letter.

The reality of leaving didn’t hit me till my feet touched the ground of the Margaret Ekpo Airport, Calabar. I felt completely and totally alone!!

I got into Calabar on Wednesday, 22nd November at exactly 4:30pm. I spent the night in Calabar and proceeded to the NYSC permanent orientation camp in Obubra, Cross-River.

And so my story begins…

Day 1

I was up at 5am as I had to be at the park for 6am. I got to the park at exactly 6am and met other corpers (3 girls and 2 guys) headed to camp. I negotiated with the driver and got into the vehicle.

I learnt the following lessons that day;

1. A Calabar man must always sit by the window- the window seat had already been reserved for one of the girls and then this guy shows up to board the vehicle. The girl tells him to go inside while she sits by the window and one “madam” from the front goes “tah don’t you know that’s an abomination? Calabar men don’t follow women”

I was shook. Aunty it’s just a car seat I wanted to say but i guess we learn everyday.

2. Never believe the Distance anyone tells you about a proposed trip- the trip to Obubra will take between 2-3 hours, I was told. People of God, that journey took 6 hours 30 minutes. We didn’t get into town until about 1:30pm from 7am that we left. I was told “Obubra isn’t too far” only for me to discover that I share borders with Cameroon.

3. The sight of a military man with a stick shall humble you– I got to the Camp gate and because we arrived late, we had to carry our luggage on our heads. At first, I was getting ready to speak English. This law degree would be a waste if I don’t defend myself. But when I saw the stick he held and how scary the officer looked, I carried my luggage on my head just as Jesus carried his cross.

4. Always travel with a back up sim– I arrived at the camp and 9mobile had no service throughout. There was no single signal. And so there I was in a new town; friendless, network-less coupled with no light in a room that didn’t have proper ventilation.

Join me tomorrow to keep up.

Love,

TFW.

I Hate Love Stories 

Hey guys,

It’s been ages, I apologize for my absence from the blog.

Law School’s a wrap now so I promise to be much more committed to writing.

Today’s post began as one of those funny conversations you have with a friend that generates into a write up you didn’t intend .

It was written by myself and @sugarush of http://www.irishsugar.wordpress.com

Enjoy..

***************

Who invented fairytales?

Why were we suffocated with so much tales of love?

From Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, Rapunzel, snow white and then my personal favorite, Mulan.

Why is Prince Charming the perfect guy who gives the kiss of life, saves your shoe and will go round the “whole of Lagos” asking every club owner if they saw the girl who wore an imitation of loubotin heels chipped underneath?

It doesn’t stop there.

They also show us a boy who would climb through towers to rescue you. One who would kiss you and all your worries would melt away.

But sadly, here we are Left to deal with the Yoruba demons of this world. If they were only Yoruba demons we would study them, understand and learn to deal with them.

But how do you cope when there are variations from “Yoruba demons” to “Igbo life changers,” “Hausa tie you down boys,” “I just got back boys”, “No future ambition boys,” “I live close to the airport so I have an accent boys”, “the club is my second home boys”, “Mr Flip the Script”, “Mr Insecure”, “Mr Panel Beater” and the deadliest of them all, “Mr I have a bit of all these traits”.

How do we translate all the hopes, dreams and the goose bumps these fantasy men have given us when I can’t even get you to reply my text without holding a gun to your head?

When I call you, I have to call incessantly five times to get you to pick up your godamn phone and when I catch you cheating, you ask me why I’m home early from work because well that is more important than the naked woman in bed lying next to you.

Heh, who am I to assume that you will have common sense?

Call me angry, No sit there in your room and call me angry and bitter. Act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Like that brother that told you he can’t live without you isn’t breathing air with that chic he told you was “just a friend”.

It’s much harder now because we aren’t only competing against flesh and blood but against spiritual powers in high places.

Love stories in the movies are pretty easy. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl live happily ever after.

But that’s not how it goes in real life, nobody ever prepares you for the truth about love; the constant compromise, sacrifice and maturity that comes with love.

Nobody prepares you for what’s after the happily ever after. So we all at some point walk into relationships with idealistic expectations and scurry faster than a thief who’s been caught in the act.?

Love in real life is hard work not some high school musical remake with both lovers jumping on and off tables.

I hope that someday we all experience that truly wonderful, REALISTIC love. That would be a tale worth sharing.

However, I still and would probably always HATE Love stories.

Love,

TFW

My Sinful Pleasure

Hey guys,

For those that don’t know, food is my best friend and one true love.

I only thought to share that part of my life with you.

So……

Welcome to Foodie Fridays



Every Friday, I’d be sharing my Favourite restaurants and their meals or any thing food related that I love.

Foodies in the house, this is our special day.
You can drop ideas on the places you’d want me to visit, recipes you want shared or things you’d love to read about.

****************

Today, I’m grateful for that amazing place The Waffle Stop, Abuja. It’s one of my favorite places in Abuja. It’s located at Dunes Center, Ground floor- New Building, 44 Aguiyi Ironsi Street, Maitama, Abuja.

For lovers of Pancakes or Waffles, it’s a must visit.

Their price range is very reasonable and you get to select your pancake or waffle flavor, toppings, syrup and if you love to sinfully indulge like me, add an extra topping or two.

Personally, I’ve got two Favourites. For lovers of pancakes, i recommend the regular pancakes, Oreo and banana toppings, white chocolate syrup, coconut sprinkles and vanilla ice cream to go.

For waffle lovers, try out the regular waffles, strawberry and banana toppings, white chocolate syrup, coconut sprinkles and Ice cream

But If you have a sweet tooth like mine, why not have a banana and Oreo toppings, maple syrup, coconut sprinkles and Vanilla Ice cream

The ambience is very cool and the staff prompt to deliver meals within 10-15 minutes.

I always have a great time there and that’s why it tops my list.

That’s my Foodie secret for this week.

Love,

TFW

Kintsukuroi 


Hey guys,

Welcome to Throwback Thursdays.

It’s been ages since I last put up something on the blog.

Law School is one demanding place.

Personally, I am very fascinated with damaged things or “damaged people.” Maybe, it’s because of their strength in surviving that which was meant to break them.

On this note, enjoy today’s post.

*****************

Kintsukuroi 

(n) (v.phr) “to repair with gold”

[The Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, silver or lacquer & understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken]

I loved you.

Now, I despise you

I felt it all with you

The very frequent knots in my stomach. Butterflies, the experts called it. The sweaty palms, the stutter in my speech and the continuous feeling I was on cloud nine.

You were beyond perfect. My every desire and even much more. That Saturday evening we had met under cloudy and bleak skies. You rescued me from the rains and then I was overjoyed to have found my own “Prince Charming.”

Oh! how I loved the way you doted and tended to my every need. The treats, surprises and gifts. You never took for granted the little things. No wonder my heart always did a funny dance for you.

The proper gentleman, you never pushed. It was always about me. You didn’t linger after hugs neither did you expect to be invited in or shamelessly caress my fingers whilst licking your lips.

I was certain you were a keeper

Dinner at your place sounded surreal and I was elated to be welcomed Into your personal space. I couldn’t decide between all ten outfits but finally I put on the short peach flowery dress.

Dinner was lovely, I never believed lobster could taste so delicious.!Then you took me in your arms and all my problems faded away. Slowly, gently, our lips collided and I felt a hurricane of emotions. My heart thumped faster and I could feel blood rushing to my chest.

You proceeded to my thighs slowly caressing, gently lifting up my dress. In sudden outburst, I felt you rip my panties. I felt myself being lifted & thrown on the rugged floor.

My legs were jerked wide open

I was suddenly frightened and I tried to retreat but it was in futility. Nobody could hear my muffled screams. I kept tugging and kicking hoping to somehow hit you where it would most definitely hurt.

I dug skin deep into your flesh but all I could hear was your laughter. You hovered above me slowly inhaling my every scent. You nibbled at my ear lobes giving sharp bites at intervals.

I felt like the chicken on my family’s Christmas table. You proceeded to tie my hands to the Centre table not forgetting to cover my mouth as well.

Then you plunged the first time and I cried out in excruciating pain. You moved in and out again several times, tightening your grip around my neck with each thrust. My legs were shaking and I cried uncontrollably.

For that period, I believed time stood still.

With each thrust, I lost a part of me.

And then the nightmare finally came to an end.

You got up and simply walked out.

There I lay, violated

My pretty little dress wasn’t so pretty anymore but was soaked with the proof of my innocence.

There I was struggling to deal with my emotions.

I trusted you but you robbed me instead.

You took from me that which was mine to give.

And I was left broken.

It doesn’t haunt me as much but one thing remains unchanged;

I loved you. Now, I despise you

They say you always remember your first, I’m damn certain I would.

Love,

TFW

I AM WOMAN

Hey guys!!

Welcome to Throw back Thursdays.

Enjoy.

******************

I AM WOMAN

A giver and Carrier of life

I AM WOMAN

Not just a reproductive machine

I AM WOMAN

With a lot of dreams and aspirations

I AM WOMAN

Emotional, Warm & sometimes over the edge

I AM WOMAN

I define and create my own path

I AM WOMAN

Stronger than the whips and chains with which society enslaves me

I AM WOMAN

My destiny is not tied to a kitchen stove

I AM WOMAN

My worth should not be measured by how many lumps my pounded yam possesses

I AM WOMAN

Far greater than my perky breasts or the pleasure found beneath my thighs

I AM WOMAN

Smart, Bold & Beautiful

I AM WOMAN

I will not dumb down myself to be tagged “suitable” by men

I AM WOMAN

I would not apologize for having a brain

I AM WOMAN

I would not apologize for success

I AM WOMAN

The presence or absence of that rock on my finger shouldn’t define me or measure my happiness

I AM WOMAN

A complete Entity

With or Without a Man

Love,

TFW

Sonnet 2: Love

Hey guys!!!

The second sonnet is finally here. I’m sorry it took longer than expected.

Life has been keeping me pretty occupied.

Enjoy

******************

It is the greatest force of all

That which can drive you utterly insane & yet keep you calm

A disease that engulfs like wildfire

Love is constant sacrifice & compromise

Love is the way you look at me; It is the taste of your lips

Love is the sound of your laughter

Love is that quirky thing you do with your pointed nose

Love is that tingling sensation when my fingers are lost in yours

Love is what we make when our bodies collide

Love is struggling, striving & sticking with you

Love is missing you when you’re gone

Love is bringing me flowers even when I’ve forgotten your name

Love is the mighty risk I took, turns out it was God’s gift to me

So you see, Love is you!

*******************

Love,

TFW.

Someday 


Hello guys,

Welcome to Throw Back Thursdays

Enjoy.

*********************
Someday- Adverb [The legendary place where all your hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations magically all come to fruition]

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

It wasn’t in the itinerary that I fall for you.

You were supposed to be one of those transit flights.

I should’ve been in and out of your life faster than you’d say jack Robinson.

Love has always “scarred” my makeup.

With a seemingly unlovable patched heart,

I embraced the status quo.

And then you came along…

Paranoia in me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to walk away and never look back taking with you that which is left of a broken yet functional heart.

I keep waiting for your wife, mistress or kids to show up on my doorstep.

I keep waiting for something to go drastically wrong But none of that has happened.

So here I stand with these engulfing and overwhelming desires

I long and thirst for you; I crave your kisses and your touch.

I love the taste of your lips.

I crave you in ways words cannot begin to describe.

I want to bask in the euphoria of your scent.
I do not miss you at midnight when loneliness creeps in, I miss you when I’m in a crowded room surrounded by loud noises.

I Miss you without reason.

I carry you in my spirit.

Sometimes, I think I pray for you more than I pray for myself.

I want to call you home.

I want you to hold me, I want you to show me off to the world just as you flaunt your tenth grade medals.

I want my fingers entwined in yours now and even when we are old & wrinkled.

I want our happily ever after; the dress, kids and the house with the white picket fence.

I cringe at the thought that another woman might make you happy.

I know that couple of years later when our kids are all grown and married, hopefully without any affairs on your part, I’d still look you straight in the eyes and tell you how much I love you without hesitation.

I want to yell so loudly till you know you’re just right for me

But Alas, all these you’d never know as we’re not promised tomorrow.

To live in the moment was our plan.

But it’s not so easy trying to win this war against my heart

I therefore will continue to muffle the cries of my weary heart as it continually longs for more.

It’s okay to call me crazy, I’m beginning to think I am

But once in a while I hear the voices in my head gently whispering to me

He’d love you just as much

Someday…

Love,

TFW

Sonnet 1: PAIN

Hello Everyone,

It is my birthday today and in celebration of this special day, I will be writing Three Sonnets of gratitude by the end of the week.

Each one would highlight a concept that I have come to appreciate over the years.

So don’t forget to check in this week guys.

********************************************

I love that you remind me that I am human

You have taught me strength, Lodged me with perseverance and hope

Though oftentimes I mope

Your lessons have transformed me into a better man

The folly of trusting in men; their words are laced with deceit

Ever promising but lacking depth

In disappointment, I had often wept

on the couch in my living room suite

But I have grown very fond of you

I have experienced you in all your forms;

Loss, disappointment and a shattered heart

So I understand you are that which we pull through

Very fleeting; but you reform

You are but a rare work of art

***********************************

Love,

TFW

 

 

 

The Prodigal Blogger Returns

Hey guys!!!!!!

I know, I know, I know!!

🙈

It’s been centuries since I last posted on the blog and I’m so sorry.

You see this adulting thing is much more difficult than I thought.

One would think that with orientation camp over, I would finally be the babygirl I was destined to be.

However, working and trying to get your life in order takes its toll on you.

But I’m back to writing now and I promise you much more exciting posts.

You know how we do!!

😉

In the past months, I have learnt a few things though.

I guess the most important lesson of all was that I can’t always control everything.

Most times, I could be a perfectionist and it almost always flows into everything I do.

But I’ve come to understand that life’s unpredictability is what makes it very beautiful.

I can’t always have everything figured out.

Second lesson would be to sometimes take a break from everything.

We all want to save the world and all but we can only do that when our body and minds are in the right place. A time out is good every once in a while.

In the meantime however, I am living and loving life.

Life’s what you make it right?

So let’s live it up.

Love,

TFW.

Retrospective